Mothers

I was sitting at the desk, thinking about not much of anything when something struck me. (Literally.) A smile crossed my face as I glanced down at my stomach, where my unborn child was rolling around. His/her little feet were poking at my ribcage and I had to laugh. I'm going to be a mother soon, I thought as I caressed my tummy. But my happy moment was quickly spoiled by the idea of being a mom.

How do I even act like a mother? What if I end up only ruining the life of this adorable child? Could I ever be a good mom?

These questions roamed my mind and not for the first time I found myself doubting I could pull this off. I know it is common for a first time mom to worry about becoming a mother but that did not comfort me. Knowing that others think on the same lines as I do can't change the fact that I question my own ability.

Of course these thoughts caused me to think of my own mother. For seventeen years she took care of me and she was my closest friend. Despite every bad situation the pair of us found ourselves in, she always managed to pull us through. Her shoulder was always there for me when I needed it and I've always knew that I could rely on her. She always knows just the right words to brighten my mood and make me laugh.

And for as long as I have been alive, I only fought with my mom once. The funny part about that fight was that the reason I had acted the way I did had nothing to do with her. I did something bad and I know I should have taken it seriously but I was too giddy with not getting into too much trouble to. So when she scolded me I did the one thing giddy girls do best: I laughed. I wish I had kept my mouth shut now. It must have hurt her to see me laughing at her like I did and I doubt anything I do could erase that memory.

When I feel my baby moving around I can not help but wish that I can become at least half the mother she is. If I can do that much, I know my child will turn out alright and happy because I did. I truly love my mom and I hope that my baby loves me like I love her.